Has the quest for closure snared you? You want to know the truth! Why are things happening the way they are? Why are people being so stubborn and obstinate? I call this the “quest for closure” and if you don’t watch out you just might get caught in suspended animation—waiting anxiously for some kind of answer when none is coming.
Consider women who are married to verbally abusive or addicted husbands. They often have such love and compassion that they are desperate for the mending of their wayward spouse. This is a great thing, but the enemy knows how to use a heart of mercy against us. The breach in the relationship hurts so badly that they are tempted do anything to bring closure—anything except let it play out God’s way. Vicious cycles set in whenever we can’t find the right way to live with the messy mysteries of life.
Jesus is merciful and very loving, but He is also tough. You cannot manipulate Him; you cannot bend Him to your will; you cannot keep Him from bringing you face to face with realities you want to avoid. The loving spouse needs to grow up into the Lord’s tough side, but because she (or he) is compassionate, this feels neither natural nor right. That’s where the quest for closure can get us snared—we keep trying to resolve things our way when we don’t get the answer we want.
If you love someone you want to reach them right? You see their potential, you see God’s love for them, you see who they could be, if they would only respond to the light. But what happens when they don’t get it? Can you take your peace back? Can you carry their resistance to grace and truth up to the Lord and do what He shows you? The simple truth is that if a person won’t listen to words, they may have to listen to circumstances by facing some of the hard consequences of their ways (see Psalm 119:67, 71).Could you do that for your loved one? God does.
Or, suppose you want the kind of closure that comes from definite answers. You want to know
why—why don’t they get it? One of the least satisfying things about a person’s resistance to grace is that it never gets explained to us. Only afterwards, after their repentance and restoration, do we get to hear the inside story. Until then we are in the dark, awash in our own speculations. We secretly think, “If only I knew what was really going on, then I could help them get free.” This too is a snare of the enemy.
The truth is that God knows perfectly well what is holding them back. Does having that information make it easy for the Lord to bring the person on board? Not at all—or everyone would be immediately converted, delivered and transformed.
In my experience the Lord has never brought me to the place where I know what He knows and on the basis of that knowledge go in and make the catch. It is apparently not something I need to know to be a part of the His rescue. God, however, needs to know it, because He is the only one who can work on the inside through the events He oversees to bring that person to the place where they are willing and able to see the Light. Only then can the good changes come.
So let it go, trust God and follow His steps and strategy. Father really does know best.
For more see False Burden Bearing.