Mending Broken Hearts

The Scarlett OHara Syndrome

The Scarlett O’Hara Syndrome

Have you ever fallen into the trap of the Scarlett O’Hara syndrome? I have observed many people adopting it as a coping strategy. It seems highly favored by us. It certainly feels evident and right at the moment of pain or pressure. For me it was a pattern that began early in childhood. Here is an excerpt that describes it from the book I wrote a few years back. See if you can relate: There were  shadowy sides to me that I preferred…

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Cant Forgive Yourself?

Can’t Forgive Yourself?

Is this you? (It was me.)  I meet many Christians who believe that God forgives them, but who really can’t forgive themselves. We padlock our own hearts with unrelieved blame and regret. It doesn’t have to be this way! In my experience we find it hardest to forgive ourselves over two kinds of sins: a) if we have deeply hurt someone we truly loved, or b) if we have wrecked our own life path with no visible means of remedy.…

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I Will Never Get Over This

I Will Never Get Over This

“I will never get over this!” Really? That’s just what I used to think about all kinds of awful, evil stuff that had wrecked my life. But the Spirit of the Lord wouldn’t leave me alone. He kept reminding me about the promise of Romans 8:28. You know, the one which says that we know that God is working all things together for our good. Well, I didn’t know it. I couldn’t see how my past could possibly be made to work for my good. I…

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